Lovehoney Classic Metallic Magic Wand Review
When it comes to sex toys, I’m a sucker for a nice aesthetic. I don’t know how they do it, but I am 99% sure pretty toys give me better orgasms. Although, I was also 99% sure I wouldn’t go over the top this Christmas, and I tripped over an excessive Christmas decoration for the millionth time this morning. So… my estimates may be a little off. There is one thing I can be 100% certain of though – the Lovehoney Classic Metallic Magic Wand is one sexy piece of orgasmic machinery. Those colours, honestly, I get drips down my thighs just thinking about it.
The packaging is standard for Lovehoney’s basic branding. Don’t expect anything more than a thin white cardboard box with an image of the wand on the front. Inside, the shiny and sexy machinery is nestled between plastic and all ready to form a special bond with your bits.
I’ve already discussed, possibly overenthusiastically, the sex appeal the metallic ombre exterior has. But what about the rest of its design? What about the bit that gets to caress your clit? The large firm head is made of a matte black silicone that glides gracefully over sensitive areas with a dollop of water-based slippery stuff. As with all full-sized wand vibrators, it offers broad stimulation, sending vibrations through a larger surface area. Think clitoral jiggles and labia wiggles. With a flexible neck to this vibes head, you can even crank that jiggling up an intensely pleasurable notch.
Tip – If you prefer more precise stimulation, Lovehoney also sells wand attachments to fit over the head.
The main body of the Lovehoney Classic Metallic Magic Wand is pretty damn chunky. If it was a dildo, my vagina would be screaming. With so much length to it too, it’s not the sort of vibrator that would slot between two bodies getting hot and sweaty in the missionary position. But doggy or cowgirl? Oh yes.
With a wire just shy of 2 metres in length, it doesn’t matter how far away from a power source your vulva is, you can give it the buzz that it deserves. Providing the ‘not mattering how far away it is’, is within 1.8 metres. Also providing you are not in the bath… For obvious reasons.
The Lovehoney Classic Metallic Magic Wand gives you the option of roaring steady vibes or roaring steady vibes. Basically, you get no patterns. The scrolling button, however, means you can be precise about the vibration intensity your sexy bits desire. Personally, I like to just jack it up and stay there until my sheets get wet. The scrolling function also makes this magic wand extremely easy to navigate without seeing and very quick to switch off in emergencies. Like an orgasm-destroyer coming home earlier than they said they would – so inconsiderate.
I love Lovehoney. I genuinely do. They ignited my passion for sex toys and steered me to where I am now. Unfortunately, my clitoris and I are in disagreement. Whilst I gush at the sight of their toys, my clit cries over the prospect of another buzzy motor. My clitoris wants rumbles, but it was beginning to seem Lovehoney and rumbles did not go together. Like the bees that bring the honey, Lovehoney was all about the buzz.
The Lovehoney Classic Metallic Magic Wand makes me concerned a scientist somewhere will think there’s an earthquake. This is the kind of rumbles I want. I want rumbles that make my bedroom walls shake.
Unfortunately, with all that delicious deep vulva penetrating power, comes noise. The sort of racket that makes me very grateful this rumbler is so quick to switch off.
“I was just using the hairdryer. Honest.”
Something absolutely jaw-droppingly incredible has happened. This is the moment my genitals and I have been waiting for. This is what I get down on my knees and plead with the God’s of sex toys for. At last, a vibrator too powerful for my clitoris.
I wasn’t expecting it. I had no idea. The first time I screwed this baby, I scrolled to the highest intensity and stuck it straight on my clit. And I couldn’t handle it. I wanted to with every fibre of my vulva, I just couldn’t.
So, I picked my jaw up off the floor, scrolled it back down, and prepared myself for one hell of a wank.
And it really bloody was. It always is. That deliciously broad head covers almost my entire vulva and hits it with deeply powerful vibrations that make my bits wobble. The Lovehoney Classic Metallic Magic Wand has made me realise what broad vibrations can offer, and my precise-loving clit and I are sold. I’m not saying I’m a convert, but this broad genius invention has shot right up to one of my top 5 vibrators.
With a flexible neck, I can move it and roll it and shake it. And I do. With one hand holding the unexpectedly light wand and the other ploughing my vagina with silicone objects.
I’ve tried wand vibrators before, but never one like this. I finally know why they are a favourite amongst so many. The Lovehoney Classic Metallic Magic Wand is exceptional. It takes me on orgasmic rides that I never want to get off of. It’s rumbly, it’s powerful, it’s everything I love and more. If you’re looking for a gentle buzzer though, this might not be for you. Even its lowest setting is body-shakingly intense.
You can purchase the Lovehoney Classic Metallic Magic Wand here for £49.99
Looking for something smaller? Check out my review of the Desire Luxury Clitoral Vibrator!
Huge thanks to Lovehoney for sending me the Lovehoney Classic Metallic Magic Wand in exchange for an honest review! Affiliate links are used in this post.