A Singles Person’s Guide to a Sexy Christmas
A few years ago I was at a Christmas party. Aside from the chaos that was the children, I was the only person there who was single and alone. The only one who would leave on my own to go to a cold and empty house. The only one who would be drowning my lonely sorrows with a bottle of Baileys and eating an entire Christmas pudding along with my emotions. So do you know what I did? I locked myself in the bathroom and I cried my single girl heart out.
This year will be the first one since, that I am alone again. Alone by choice, but still very much without someone to cuddle up to by the fire. Aside from Valentines, no time can make you feel quite like a present without the wrapping like Christmas can.
Anyway, that’s all depressing and entirely nonsexy. So, let’s have at those tips for a single and sexy Crimbo!
Let’s get the obvious one out the way. I’m a sex toy reviewer so you knew it was coming. Get yourself that sex toy you’ve been heart eyeing for so long! If anyone deserves it, it is you. Wrap it up and stick it under the tree with a bow on. But get to it, the clocks ticking! Don’t have a sex toy wishlist with something special at the top? Here’s some inspiration…
- We Vibe Tango – If you like direct clitoral stimulation this really is the best clit vibe out there.
- Rocks Off Joycicles – Budget friendly and festively themed. It’s not the most powerful clitoral vibrator but it gets me off and would look awesome on my Christmas tree.
- Sola Cue – This is the most powerful wireless vibrator I’ve ever tried. If you like hardcore rumbling vibes, it is a perfect choice.
- Njoy Pure Plug – These weighted and beautifully shaped stainless steel plugs are popular for a reason.
- Doxy 3 – Have one up on me and get the Doxy 3. I hear it being raved about constantly so it’s high up on my wishlist.
- Fleshlight – Fleshlight’s are so famous because they are good toys! If I had a penis, I would definitely be treating myself to one of these.
You are far from the only person who is alone at Christmas. Fortunately, we all live in an age where we can connect with people at the click of a button. We can talk, flirt, sext, we can even have cyber sex if we want to! My online world connections are just as precious to me as my ‘real-world’ connections. The intimacy may be different, but it is no less valuable. I know I’ll be dropping in on Twitter Christmas Day to wish everyone a Merry Christmas. Try Twitter, Reddit, the Lovehoney Forum or any other platforms you already enjoy.
If you are anything like me you spent far too much on everyone else to afford that dream sex toy. Damn my giving nature. So, I treated myself to some erotic books instead. Although, they would work pretty well teamed up with a new sex toy too if you fancy getting both! You could even get some with a festive theme if you want. Or save pennies even further and read these short but sexy festive stories online…
- Cara Sutra – In Santa’s Lap
- Scandarella – O Come All Ye Faithful
- Hannah Lockhardt – Nuts About You
- MollysDailyKiss – Ding Dong Merrily on High
- Posy Churchgate – Twisted Fairytale
As much as I love reading erotica, nothing gets me quite as hot as putting my fingertips on the keyboard and dreaming up my own. Putting a fantasy into words means I explore it in a depth my mind never wandered to before. The smells, the build-up, the scenery. All things that make it realistic but don’t cross my horny mind mid-masturbation. If you want to make a festive fantasy as real as can be, perhaps you could try writing it down?
Wear lingerie for you. To feel sexy. If you’re going out, wear something under your Christmas jumper that would tempt Santa with a better reason to stay up all night. Stockings. Red latex. Satin. Lace. Pick your poison, they all look and feel amazing!
There is one reason us singletons may be craving human touch at Christmas that is all about what’s going up our nostrils. Some of the festive scents we all know and love are known aphrodisiacs. So make the most of them with candles, bath oils or lotions. Get yourself in the mood for that new sex toy or erotica with the help of your nose! Try cinnamon, vanilla, citrus, popcorn, almond or ginger.
Take those sexy scents into the kitchen for both a yummy treat and a home filled with libido-enhancing smells. You could bake cinnamon rolls, pumpkin pie, citrus fruitcake or gingerbread. And it’s not just about those aromas, there are festive foods that will get the blood pumping to your genitals too. As if I needed an excuse to demolish the chocolates Christmas day. So chow down on pomegranates, pine nuts, sweet potatoes and figs. Not forgetting to wash it all down with a delicious hot chocolate. Complete with a drop of Baileys, if you’re anything like me. Nom Nom.
Make Sexy Plans
Save all your sexy planning for when the single sadness strikes. Whether it’s planning for a kink event, a singles night, a date or even just future sexy purchases. Remember there are often Christmas Day sales around. I grabbed a cheap Lelo Nea 2 in a Christmas Day sale once. There is nothing like the anticipation of future sexiness to put a smile on your face.
Know Your Triggers
If there’s anyone who understands how hard it can be to be alone at Christmas, it’s me. But I’m one of those annoying people that believe happiness is a frame of mind. I know sitting through Bridget Jones Diary and The Notebook only breaks me down in tears because I want a Mark Darcy or a Noah. I know my triggers. I know what makes me wallow in single self-pity during the festive season. I know not to listen to Last Christmas, All I Want For Christmas Is You and most definitely not to listen to Lonely This Christmas. Feeling shit about my lonely life is not going to make me feel sexy.
And the Good Ones Too
It’s not just about avoiding the bad, it’s about embracing the good too. Knowing the things that really make you happy. I’ve already listed lots of my methods for a sexually happy single me. You could try the ideas here or do some self-reflection of your own. What could you do to make this a Christmas that’ll get you hot enough to melt the snow outside?
Whatever you decide to do, I hope you have a very Merry Christmas!
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