10 Things I Will NEVER Write About
I remember a while back stumbling across an old Lovehoney blog post in which they highlighted ten things they would never sell. I found it pretty damn hilarious as they had gone on to sell every single thing on that list. I’m quietly confident there is absolutely nothing on this list that I am going to one day write about. After over a year of running this sex blog, I’ve got to know myself as a writer. I know what bores me to tears. I know what turns my brain to mush. And I know what belongs in the too painful to write about category.
1. Sex Toy Materials
If I needed something that would send me to sleep I might consider writing about sex toy materials. But honestly, I’d rather go with my tried and tested method of having a wank. Few things about sex bore me like researching phthalates and the like. Even trying to spell phthalates sends my brain into a snooze. As important a topic as it is, I will always choose to send you in the direction of someone passionate about it, than to put myself through the agony of writing it myself.
If you want to know more about sex toy materials, which you absolutely should with so much crap out there, I recommend Dangerouslilly.
2. Lubricant Ingredients
Basically, as above. Whilst I appreciate how valuable a topic it is, with so many terrible lube ingredients out there, I didn’t start this blog as a method of torture. And discussing ph levels and glycol is about as appealing to me as someone stealing all my sex toys. Even if I tried to write about it, I would completely balls it up. So do us both a favour and check out Dangerouslilly’s Lube Guide.
In the world of sex and kink, most of us have squicks. For anyone who doesn’t know what a squick is, it is something that repels you, disgusts you, or as I like to professionally put it – gives you the heeby-jeebies. Of course, I do have squicks, but I will never write about them. There is nothing to gain but making someone feel crappy. And my squicks are things I know are damn sexy and awesome kinks. I wish I didn’t have that reaction, but I do. In my sex blog world, it is all about the positive. So, discussions of squicks are most definitely unwelcome.
I have so much admiration for any bloggers who are able to write about their experiences of abuse. I’ve tried, multiple times. And every time, nothing I wrote could convey just how traumatic and awful it was. There weren’t enough words. There were no right words. It felt like minimising everything I’d been through to a measly 1000 words. Nope. No way. Not going to happen.
5. Book Reviews
I read most days, but when choosing a book to purchase I don’t read proper blog book reviews. I prefer Amazon reviews: Short and sweet, and usually including multiple people’s opinions. Because of this, I really wouldn’t know how to write a book review, much less a good one. I’ll stick to sex toys and leave the book reviews to the pros.
6. Social Side of Kink
I live on a tiny island with absolutely no kink community. It is a reason the sex blogging community is so important to me. I don’t believe writing accurately about this is at all possible without having experienced it yourself. Which I, begrudgingly, have not. So, I will have to leave this one to the bloggers who actually know what they’re talking about.
7. Sex Industry Drama
There is a fair amount that goes on in the industry and community that leaves me blaring obscenities at my phone. It seems at least once a week I scroll through Twitter and some sort of drama has occurred. Thankfully, there are bloggers a lot more constructive than me and my blaring obscenities. They head to their website and put their online voice to good use. Whereas just the idea of doing it makes me break out in a highly anxious sweat.
8. Penis Toy Reviews
My life is currently penisless. Who knows how long that will last. But, even if I had a man with a lovely dong in my life I still wouldn’t write reviews for penis specific sex toys. I like to know I have examined every aspect of a sex toy before I review. That I know it inside and out. I can’t do a toy review justice if I have never experienced the toy myself. The sex toy reviewing world needs more reviews of these toys. Unfortunately, I’m not the one to do them.
9. Sexual Politics
Similar to the drama surrounding the industry, which is sexual politics in itself, I turn into a ball of nerves at the thought of writing about it. I am so grateful to the bloggers that are knowledgeable enough to voice the opinions I share. But I would never be confident in writing about politics unless I was certain I knew everything about what I was discussing. And that is basically impossible.
10. Medical Issues
I tried this once when I wrote about Vaginismus. But, it was a wasted effort. With information online from medical professionals about common sexual health issues, there is no value I can add. Unless it is an issue I have experienced personally, I’ll be leaving this one where it should be. In the hands of the medically trained.
Whilst these are ten things I am almost certain I wouldn’t write about, there are even more that I adore writing about. And the truth is, if someone needed me to write about one of those things, I would. Even the torturous topic of lube ingredients. Because that’s what I do it for. To help you. That is what fills me with happiness and motivation every time I sit at my laptop to write.
One of the things I love writing about most is fetishes! Have you checked out my fetish category yet?