My Experience of the 30 Day Orgasm Fun Challenge
I knew when I chose to join in on the 30 Day Orgasm Challenge that I would fail to orgasm every day. It was inevitable. I have had a depressingly low libido for what has now been years. I took the challenge in the hopes it would teach me about my body and my libido. Would masturbating more help? Would it make it worse?
As well as experimenting and learning about my body, I was pretty excited to make a record of the toys I used and get a bit nerdy about stats. How often are my orgasms through review wanks? And which toys do I really reach for when I’m not testing review items?
So, here’s the record I kept…
Day 1 – Noje W1
Day 2 – We Vibe Jive
Day 3 – None
Day 4 – We Vibe Jive and Tango
Day 5 – Noje W1
Day 6 – We Vibe Jive and Zumio
Day 7 – None
Day 8 – Lelo Sona
Day 9 – None
Day 10 – Rocks Off Mondri-Anne & Fingers
Day 11 – None
Day 12 – Zumio
Day 13 – Rocks Off Touch of Velvet
Day 14 – Rocks Off Touch of Velvet & Lovehoney Lifelike Lover 5.5″
Day 15 – None
Day 16 – Rocks Off Touch of Velvet & Vain Toys Stiffy
Day 17 – NS Novelties Luxe Scarlet
Day 18 – Rocks Off Touch of Velvet
Day 19 – None
Day 20 – NS Novelties Luxe Scarlet & Vain Toys Stiffy
Day 21 – None
Day 22 – None
Day 23 – Rocks Off Touch of Velvet
Day 24 – None
Day 25 – Noje W1 & Vain Toys Mister Vain
Day 26 – None
Day 27 – None
Day 28 – None
Day 29 – None
Day 30 – Noje W1 & Lovehoney Lifelike Lover 5.5″
The toys I used because they’re awesome and not for review purposes were… The Noje W1, Rocks Off Touch of Velvet, Zumio, Lelo Sona and the We Vibe Tango. Interestingly, all clitoral toys.
71% of my orgasms were achieved whilst testing review products. Which despite being high, is actually a lower percentage than I had expected.
In the last week or so of the challenge I stopped trying. That is obvious by the record I kept above and demonstrates that although I missed days in the beginning, I was really trying to orgasm daily. In comparison to the final week, which more accurately represents how often I masturbate normally, I was clearly doing pretty well.
So, what went wrong?
Stress. For the last week or so my brain has felt fried. I’ve been stressing about all the things I need to do and how I am too stressed to do them. It is hardly the perfect recipe for arousal. What I am now left wondering though, is whether I stopped masturbating due to stress, or I got more stressed as I had stopped masturbating? Surely an orgasm a day can’t really keep the stress away? Can it?
It seems clear to me now, after this experience, that masturbating more isn’t the key to finding my long lost libido. If anything, I’m questioning whether it has had the opposite effect on me entirely, further dampening my desires. I certainly feel slightly more turned off recently. Psychologically I can guess why this might have had this impact on me – the reason I’m currently unable to have partnered sex is due to trauma relating to ‘having’ to have it. Masturbation was my safe place in which I could enjoy sexual pleasure on my own terms, so in hindsight, I probably wasn’t the ideal person to sign up for an orgasm challenge.
I must admit, the challenge updates have sometimes been difficult for me to read. I feel happy for all those people who have been having a positive experience, but it has left me feeling a little more broken than I cared to admit before.
Moving forward I definitely intend to try using orgasms as a way of eliminating stress. The challenge has also made me realise that my issues surrounding sex are something I want to address, instead of pretending they’re not there and hoping they will just eventually go away. I am really glad for what this challenge has taught me about myself and am actually surprised to have gained so much from it.