If I told you the first time I had sex I was already a natural, I would be lying. In fact, I’m not sure it could be any further from the truth. In my years of sexual activity, I’ve made my fair share of sexual mistakes. Don’t we all? But it’s all about having fun as you learn, so it’s okay! Today I’ve listed 5 but if you’d like to see a part 2 let me know in the comments below. I’m sure there are plenty more sexual mishaps in my past.
Here, in no particular order, are 5 of my biggest sexual mistakes.
1. Fake Orgasms
Starting a relationship with fake orgasms was a huge mistake. It may have seemed like a good idea the first time, perhaps even the second. By the third though, it had occurred to me that I had set myself up for a relationship based on shit sex and lies.
Fake orgasms on a one night stand are fine, they aren’t going to come back and bite you in the ass. But in relationships? What happens when you eventually have to admit you’re not really orgasming? Your partner will be crushed, they’ll feel ashamed and betrayed. So you pretend it’s a new thing. Nope, that doesn’t work either. They think it can’t be the sex, that’s the same, it must be your feelings towards them. So there you are, stuck, putting up and shutting up (aside from the occasional fake moan).
Be honest from the start. Take it from someone who learnt the hard way.
2. Long Nails
Long nails are kind of dangerous when it comes to sex. And don’t even get me started on the stiletto nail craze. That’s definitely an accident waiting to happen.
So there I am, in the throes of passion, all ready for a rocking good time when.. I stabbed him. With my nails. In the penis. The poor guy was clearly in agony and I had been left high and dry. Lesson learnt. Nails are sexual weaponry.
3. Cowgirl Bounce
Do you know what men are thinking when you’re bouncing up and down on their penis? They’re praying you don’t bounce too high and come crashing down, breaking their goods.
This is a mistake I’ve made more than once. I thought it was good. I thought I was rocking his world. And maybe I was, before I near on reduced him to tears of pain that is. So what should you do instead? Jiggle and grind mostly. You may not have boobs bouncing around applauding him but at least you can finish without causing any injuries.
4. Forgetting Me
Only focusing on my partner’s enjoyment is a mistake I made for years. It wasn’t until I started to think about me that I finally had my first orgasm during sex. I stopped worrying about what I looked like and what it felt like for him and thought about what they looked like and what I was feeling.
This was by far the biggest of the sexual mistakes I made. And the truly ironic thing about it is that I was better in bed when I thought about me! Men want to see you having a good time. They want to see your vulnerability and desire for them.
5. Protection
Did you know contraceptives don’t protect against STI’s? Of course you did! So did I. Hopefully you’re careful enough to use condoms, I wasn’t. I caught an STI.
Be smart. Don’t be like Aurora.
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