Each week I answer a question asked to me by one of my readers. This weeks question is about sex with well endowed men. Because sometimes bigger is not better. If you have a question you would like me to answer then please contact me here and keep your eye out for my upcoming Q & A. The question asked this week was:
I have a new partner but sex is really uncomfortable. I am quite petite and he is extremely well endowed in that department. Is there anything I can do to make sex pleasurable with him rather then painful?
As with most issues that arise in the bedroom, I think the key to this is communication. You need to work together to find the best positions, speeds and rhythms so that sex is as enjoyable as possible for both of you.I would recommend having as much foreplay as you can both stand without exploding! The more aroused you are, the more lubricated you will be. Your vagina will also naturally loosen a bit when you are in a state of sexual arousal. Remember it takes the average woman 30 minutes to become fully aroused, which is why you need to have as much foreplay as possible.
Because you used the term ‘painful’, it may be a good idea to have a safe word in place. Just a word that clearly means you need him to stop. Sometimes men don’t pick up on a mumbled ‘ouch’ when they’re caught up in the moment. An example safe word would be the word ‘red’ for stop. But you can use whichever word works for you.
Since you’ve asked this question, I assume this is something you feel anxiety over. The problem with this is that your anxiety is going to cause you to tense up, making sex even more uncomfortable for you. It’s very important you completely trust your partner and know he will stop immediately when you use your safe word. This should help reduce your anxiety slightly.
There are some positions which are recommended for well endowed men to reduce discomfort for the woman. I think trying these positions will be beneficial and hopefully you will find one you both enjoy. The positions I have chosen are ones in which you would be in control. This should help reduce your anxiety further as the depth and pace is up to you.
3 Sex positions for well endowed men.
Don’t worry, it’s not as scary as it sounds. Though it does help if you’re flexible. This position is similar to the reverse cowgirl position. The difference being that you lean back so you are laying upon his chest.
This position makes thrusting difficult. You are also able to stay in control of the depth and speed. Lay side by side with him behind you. You both need to be facing the same way. Because he is well endowed, it would be more comfortable for you if you raise your top leg.
Doggy is a definite no for you but standing doggy is doable. Standing during sex makes maximum penetration difficult. You could raise one of your legs onto a chair to widen the vaginal opening. It’s also a position in which you can control the depth and pace by backing onto him, rather then him thrusting.
Lastly, I recommend investing in some products that will be extremely helpful.
Give your personal lubrication a boost with some artificial lube. I recommend the Sliquid lubes. This one is a silicone lube which will last longer then water-based. For sex with a well endowed man, good quality lube is an absolute essential.
Vaginal Training Sets
These training sets aren’t necessarily for your situation. However, I feel in using them you will get comfortable with taking ‘more in’. You could also use them during foreplay, working your way up to the largest before moving on to penetrative sex with your partner.
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