A friend recently asked me for some advice regarding how quickly her partner was finishing in the bedroom. Since they are a new couple she doesn’t feel comfortable commenting on his lack of stamina. So she wanted to know if there was anything SHE could do to improve the situation. I personally have found most of my partners have maxed out at 2 minutes so sex is a race against the clock for me also.
What if there was something us women could do to make our men last longer? I could orgasm during sex instead of after and he wouldn’t have the hassle of finishing me off when he’d rather be getting a snack/rolling over and going to sleep.
I have literally gone research crazy in a bid to find the answer. I’m that good of a friend (I wanted to know the answer myself).
Fatten him up with stamina increasing foods.
Warning – He may get suspicious if you put all these foods on one plate all at once.
Okay so that’s what you can do out of the bedroom, but what about what you can do in the bedroom?
If you have an attitude like mine, ‘I want to give him a mind-blowing experience’ you’re going to have to scrap that in favour for your own orgasm. He’s still going to have an amazing sexual experience, this is just about making you focus on what gets you off rather than what gets him off.
Slow down. If you’re f**king at a high tempo than turn it down a bit. Opt for slow grinding instead of fast thrusting. This is almost guaranteed to have him lasting longer.
Mix up the positions. When its reaching the time he would usually ejaculate, switch into a new position. Take your time getting into your new position, you need to give his penis a chance to calm down a bit. You can do this a couple of times but remember you need to be in each position for less time. Also, don’t do it too many times or he’s going to lose it completely, it’s not twister. Try to only do it twice and finish on your favourite position of the three.
Some positions are less pleasurable for men whilst still being enjoyable for you. Unfortunately it’s hard to know which if you’re in a new relationship. I know that with my partner, doggy is my favourite position whilst for him it’s one of the least pleasurable. This really is personal to the man though so you will have to do some detective work.
People are usually easily distracted so if you have a tv in the room, leave it on. He’s highly likely to start unintentionally half watching it, giving you more time to orgasm! Sneaky 😉 Just don’t get glued to the tv yourself!
If you’re using condoms then I would recommend getting some with a desentizing lube like these ones, which are only £3.97 for 24!
So that’s what you can physically do about his lack of stamina. But what about psychologically?
Firstly, never let him feel that his lack of stamina is an issue. This is totally against everything I believe in as I usually think communication and honesty is key. However, making him anxious about it is a sure-fire way to make the problem worse.
If he knows he is coming before you have a chance to orgasm then he knows it’s an issue without you saying so. The last thing you want to do is make him worry about it any more than he already does. Personally, I let my partner know that as long as he finishes me off, I’m happy. Which to be honest, I am.
If you have any relationship problems then it’s time to work on them. Signs that this is the cause are if his lack of stamina is a new problem and he’s not stressed or depressed. I wrote a post on this here.
Recently suffering from premature ejaculation can be a sign of a physical problem such as with the prostate or thyroid. If he has any other new symptoms it’s worth him visiting a gp. In this case I would recommend discussing it with your partner as it’s unlikely being caused by sexual anxiety.