I never actually thought that was a question I would have to answer. I never thought I was kinky enough to actually scare a man off. I always thought my kinks were subtle. Surely any man would be thrilled to join in with my kinky fuckery. I mean why wouldn’t they? What’s not fun about some light BDSM?
From Sub to Dom
However, an exciting new romance led me down the path of having to ask myself this very question. The problem was, I had met someone even more submissive and a lot less experienced. I was thrown into the role of dominant. And I really didn’t like it. Suddenly I was taking the lead. Having to tell him what to do. Gone were the days of a man choosing my pleasure for me. A man in tune with my desires and skilled at fulfilling them on his terms. A man not afraid to spank me raw or bite too hard. A man whos sexual confidence left me weak at the knees and wet in the crotch.
Spank me? Please?
As I gave my new partner blowjobs that lit up his face like a christmas tree. And scared the hell out of him with a humble bullet vibe, I started to see a problem arise. I thought I could do it. He was nice, surely that’s worth more than whips and chains right? Wrong. The problem I found is that the more I liked him, the more I wanted to be his sub. The more I wanted him to dominate, punish and degrade me. And as soon as that desire took hold, the vanilla sex stopped scratching my itch. I wanted rough. I wanted kinky. I wanted him to take me in the most unvanilla way possible.
I am who I am
Of course he didn’t. In the end, I simply scared him off. Long before he had a true idea of my kinks and desires. Before I ever got to show him my paddles and crops. But with his exit a lesson was learnt. I am who I am. Outside of the bedroom and inside of the bedroom. Thinking I could ever change that was a mistake. No relationship is worth giving up a part of yourself even if it is sexual.
I also learnt just how important sex is. How it can make or break a relationship. And how important it is to be proud of the person you are sexually, even if it’s different. Because of that lesson, the Aurora Glory blog was born. I’ve shared things about my sexuality that I never thought I would. I’ve delved into the world of kink even further. And I’ve loved every second of it!
So, the answer is a resounding no. I would never give up kink for the right man, because if I had to give it up, he isn’t right! Not for me.
The best news is I’ve since revived my past relationship with the guy that made my knees weak and my crotch wet.. And he’s still his gloriously dominant self.