I hold my hands up. Since the end of a long-term relationship a few months ago I’ve been a bit of a Tinder addict. Nothing rebuilds your confidence like matching a 10 out of 10. I have to admit though, in the few months of my active Tindering, I have officially got zero dates out of it. I have, however, noticed that after a while they all seem to look very much the same and induce the same thoughts in my head.
This is some of the thoughts I’ve had countless times whilst swiping on Tinder..
⦁ Group shot.. I can’t be arsed *swipes left*
⦁ Please be the fit one, please be the fit one *Goes through pics* It’s never the fit one..
⦁ Wow, this guy is waaayyy too active for me. Whatever happened to a good Netflix and chill?
⦁ *Bio says ‘I like Netflix and Chill’*.. Pfft slob, next!
⦁ Aww I love his bio! If only he was fit as well as funny!
⦁ What is with all the beards?!
⦁ Should I tell his wife he’s on Tinder? Probably shouldn’t get involved..
⦁ Urgh same name as my ex *Swipes left*
⦁ He’s waay too fit, I’m going to take him down a peg or two and swipe left.. Rebel
⦁ Omg! I think I’m in love with.. Hang on, what was his name again?
⦁ If I stare at my phone long enough, maybe that hot guy will message me! (Zero percent success rate).
⦁ Oh no wait, I’ve changed my mind! I want to go back! Please Tinder, I want to go back!
⦁ Hmm do I swipe right on my ex just to see if we match? I would rather set fire to my knickers whilst I’m wearing them then actually date him again.. I’ll just close the app, the decisions too hard.