Since I take antidepressants for a lifelong disorder I have spent all of my adult life being affected by the infamous ‘lack of sex drive’. This has had an impact on more than just my sex drive though, my relationships have suffered and I have been victim to vaginal dryness.
I wish I had something positive to say about my experience, but it really has had a negative effect on my life.
Up until 2 years ago I still had an acceptable sex drive. It wasn’t until my antidepressants were doubled that it really impacted my sexual desires. I went from a twice a night kind of girl to thanking god for my monthlies as it gave me an excuse to get out of it.
It was impossible for my partner of the time not to take my lack of physical interest in him personally. He couldn’t understand why I had gone from not being able to keep my hands off him, to avoiding his touch. It didn’t matter how many times I tried to convince him I was still attracted to him, (and I genuinely was!) his confidence took a nose dive.
One of the things that initially attracted him to me was my highly sexual personality. He had lost that person and I was replaced by someone who would rather do pretty much anything else.
Sex was nothing but a chore, kissing was dull and masturbation was a means to an end.
It did eventually contribute to the demise of our 3 year relationship. He had felt unloved for too long and his insecurities made him into a different person. I had started to feel pressured into sex which ultimately pushed me further and further away.
It is sad that it had such a devastating effect on our relationship but right now I truly am happier writing about sex as opposed to actually doing it. Hopefully in the future I will be in a position to decrease my antidepressants and re-release my sexual goddess within.
In my experience if you find antidepressants that work for you it’s best to stick with them, despite this horrible side effect. Depression is a serious illness and your recovery should be top priority.