Anal sex is huge right now. What was once a seedy secret is now going on in many a bedroom. And it’s not just for men, us women may not have p spots but we enjoy it too! For a beginner the simple idea of it may leave you shaking in fear rather than anticipation though. And the hard truth is it can initially be more of a painful experience than a pleasurable one.
That’s why I’ve decided to list all the advice I know on making sure your first anal sex experience won’t be your last.
Anal lube – Invest in a quality anal lube and be generous with it. Otherwise you are guaranteed to be in pain. This is the one I use.
Douche – If you have any poop fears than invest in a douche and clean yourself about an hour before you have anal sex. Worrying about it is only going to mean you can’t relax and this can make it painful. I use this one by Tracey Cox, the tip is extremely soft and comfortable to insert.
Fingers first – Your bum isn’t going to react well to a penis going straight for it. Gently fingering the anus will temporarily increase its size to ensure a better fit for his penis. Just make sure the same finger doesn’t go into your vagina or you’re risking infection.
Training – You can buy anal training sets which are butt plug sets which gradually increase in size. Using these in the run up to trying anal sex will really help to make sure it’s a pleasurable experience. Also they will get you accustomed to the sensation.
Trust – Make sure at least your first experiences are with someone you trust and are comfortable with. There is a chance it won’t be enjoyable and you need to be confident that you can communicate honestly with your partner.
Slow and shallow – It’s important for your comfort that your partner thrusts slowly and gently and is only using the head of his penis at first. As you relax more you may be able to take more of him in but it’s not necessary.
Stimulation – For me the experience is only enjoyable if I have clitoral stimulation as well. Try stimulating other areas at the same time, whether it’s your clitoris, vaginal penetration or your nipples. Remember if it is vaginal penetration than anal sex will make your vagina internally smaller.
Be aroused – You need to have had a lot of foreplay leading up to it to ensure you are as aroused as possible. This is because the more aroused you are the more you are going to relax.
Positions – Experiment with positions. If one isn’t working you may find another easier and more enjoyable. I have made a list of beginners anal positions here.